The rate at which you reply to messages online is a very important, and sometimes overlooked, matter. If you want to keep attraction red-hot, and not appear undesirable, then you’ll need to watch your pacing, or the rate at which you reply.
One of the keys to keeping yourself desirable is to never be TOO available or eager.
This seems counterintuitive. Especially if you’ve found a person that you’re really interested in. You’ll be drooling at the idea of taking them out, at the idea of meeting them in person, of chat your kids will look like… Okay, just kidding on that last one, I hope.
The point is that your reply rate shows the other person how eager you are.
Let’s say you sent an outgoing first message on a Sunday night. Your potential mate sends you back a message on Tuesday afternoon.
Your first reaction will be to message back that beautiful face right away. Hell, you got the notification in your e-mail, and now you’re excited! And honestly, I don’t blame you for your excitement. But if you want to stay somewhat mysterious, which works for your attraction, then don’t be too available. And that means you don’t message her back right away. You wait until Wednesday or Thursday.
I don’t like that relationships have to have this “gaming” side to them, but they unfortunately do. Humans don’t always understand why they do the things they do, or why they react in certain ways. But if you respond right away to someone after they took 2 days to respond to you, then it just subliminally screams “HEY I’M AVAILABLE AND SOMEWHAT DESPERATE.”
… Which of course, is not attractive.
The same goes for texting, once you get his or her number. In the courting stages, pace your messaging at around the rate (or longer) that the person takes to respond to you. It seems silly. It seems pointless. It seems like a waste of time.
But in my experience as well as many, many
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others, this simply works. It doesn’t make much sense, but often we are not attracted to people who display too much interest, too soon. I think it’s because people want well-rounded partners with varied interests. They don’t want someone with nothing in their life besides online dating and texting.